Want to Play A Game

Not realizing why he wants my number, he claims it’s just in event of anything happening. Is that really the case or is it because he wants to be able to talk to me.

He brings home such beautiful women, I don’t understand how he would have any kind of interest in me. I believe in instant connection, even having a instant attraction that’s what happened to me.

I know I am not his type, I am wondering why he is acting like I am his. Then again, he never gave me reason to believe that he has any kind of interest in me at all.

Why am I overthinking this? He is my neighbor he has no kind of interest in me anyway. I’m not pretty enough for him, I’m too fat for him.

As I sigh feeling sorry for myself, I’m wanting what isn’t mine to have.

I then decide to focus on something else. As I am thinking about Jake, I am getting pissed off. I can’t believe that Jake is trying to give me an ultimatum. I don’t know what to do. Why would he want to force me into something that I am not ready for?

Maybe Jake and I are just not meant to be together. Why would he want to force someone to live with him? It wouldn’t be out of love, it would be because he forced it upon them.

My phone rings, Oh Great! it’s my mother.

I answer it. Hey mom how are you?  She answers, “I was just talking to Jake, and he said you need to either move in with him or he’s breaking up with you. Just how could you do this to him? He is an amazing man and you are taking him for granted, “she says.

I then respond, “mom I am not taking advantage of him because I am not ready to settle down. It shouldn’t mean anything if he loved me. He would wait for me, don’t you think?”

My mom nags, “Jessica you two have been together for 5 years. He’s waited long enough. Don’t you realize it’s time that you grow up? I snap at her, feeling so annoyed by her not caring about me at all.”

“Mom it’s always the same with you guys. You’re constantly on each others side. You’re always trying to make me do things, I don’t choose to do.

If he doesn’t choose to wait for me than maybe he needs to find someone else. Find someone ready to settle down with him, someone that is not me mom.

My mom gets so worked up like always.

“Oh my God Jessica, you are such a stupid girl you need to grow up and grow up fast.”

Then she hangs up the phone on me; of course Jake runs to my mom. I am so sick and tired of them deciding what’s best in my life. If they wish to get married, maybe they should just marry each other.

So, I then call Jake all pissed off. I tear into him, “Why would you call my mom and bring her into this?”

He then says, “Why not?”

“She’s always in the middle of everything we do anyhow. I thought maybe she could talk some sense into you.”

I tell him to go fuck himself, that he can go find someone that wants all that he does because it’s not me.

He stutters over his words, “What Jessica are you breaking up with me?”

I yell “Your damn right,” then hang up the phone all kinds of pissed off. I can’t stand to be told what to do. If he wants to just break up at the drop of a hat because I don’t follow his commands, then he can go fuck himself anyway.

I am so over this. I get up to put something sexy on, to go out and get a drink. I am so tired of people deciding to control everything I do. I can’t take it anymore, I’m done with this bullshit.

Right before I go to walk out the door there is a knock. I answer it and it’s no one other than Jake. I just look at him. “What the fuck do you want?” I ask.

He starts questioning me like I owe him an explanation. “Where are you going Jessica?”

“I’m going out. Do you have a problem with that?”

I’m staring at him, but he doesn’t respond. I then go right pass him without looking back. I’m sick of his shit.

I keep telling myself it’s been 5 years since I have been single. It’s about time that I care for myself. I can do whatever the hell I want. I don’t have to worry about someone else, talking down to me, telling me what to do. It’s time that I live my life doing what is important to me.

When I determine that it’s time to settle down, it will be my own choice to make for myself damn it.

I am exhausted with everyone else trying to run my life, making my choices for me. It’s none of their business on what I choose to do with my life. They need to stay the fuck out of it and let me choose my path.

I am only 23 years old.

Who the hell wants to get married at my age? Not me.

I have only ever been with Jake. I think it’s time that I experiment on other things. If he wants to leave me because I refuse to settle down then I hope he finds somebody that wants all that he wants.

Why the fuck would they consider they can control my fucking life? Damn it. I’m still trying to wrap my head around it all.

As I enter the bar, I’m ready to order a drink immediately.

I hear my phone ding I’m getting a text.

“It’s Matt, Oh my God.”NôvelD(ram)a.ôrg owns this content.

I instantly get wet, I can’t help but thinking how someone like him is texting someone like me. I check my phone.

“Hey Jessica what are you up to?”