Through The Eyes Of My Alpha

Chapter 58

Through the eyes of my alpha Chapter 58

NADIA It has been more than a month since I left the Silver Moon Pack. And although there was never a day that I didn’t long for my mate, I think I was doing okay. Riley’s scent on his clothes that I took with me has already faded. Nothing was left of him, and it was painful. I could vividly remember my heat two weeks ago when I tried to scent his clothes to get me through the pain and so that I could have my release, but it was no longer there.

I spent the whole night crying and trashing my rented space.

I was so close to packing up my things and running back to him until my body just gave up and I passed out.

I was having a harder time moving on now than the first time we got separated.

Maybe because by now, I already knew how it felt to be his.

And no matter how many times I kept telling myself that it was him that drove me to this misery, I still couldn’t find it in my heart to hate him.

If there was only one consolation from all of this, it was that Riley had never been intimate with anyone.

And I was hoping it would remain that way until we could figure out a way to move on with the rejection.

I knew I wanted him, but I couldn’t just force myself to be with someone who didn’t want me in the first place.

So I was trying my best.

I wanted to move on.

Some days were better, but some days were worse.

I pushed the main door of the building where I was renting a small apartment.

A few blocks away from here was the small diner that took me in as a server.

In the beginning, I was hired just to clean up the table and help tidy up the kitchen, but eventually, I got the server post when one of the other employees resigned.

I was thankful for the people around me.

Despite being new, I was welcomed.

And if anything, I was glad I took the risk and jumped out of the train when it stopped in Atlanta, because I found her.

FLASHBACK A Month Ago I went to the newly vacated booth and began stacking up the used plates and glasses on the tray before picking up the paper trash and placing everything on the trolley.

I then proceeded to wipe the table clean.

In less than an hour, my shift would be over, and I could go to the park, where I would spend a few hours before heading home to the small apartment that I was able to rent cheaply.

The apartment was nothing grand, but it wasn’t terrible either.

The walls were dull-looking, but nothing was leaking, and I had good ventilation.

It was enough for me.

Prices around here were not cheap, so finding a cheap apartment in a decent neighborhood was a challenge, but I got lucky that the restaurant owner knew the landlord of the apartment, and she helped

me get this place.

I took one last look at the table.

I was satisfied that it was now spotless, so I turned around, ready to head back to the kitchen when I bumped into someone.

I gasped lowly as steady hands held my shoulders to keep me from falling down.

“I’m sorry.

I should have been more careful.

” I smiled at the female standing before me, and she waved her hand in the air as she smiled back at me.

“No.

It’s not your fault.

I was actually approaching you, but I didn’t expect you to turn around.

“I see.

Would you like to take the booth here?

It’s ready now.

” “Lovely!

” She winked at me before she passed by where I stood, but not before she whispered something.

“I can smell you.

” “Excuse me?

” My eyes followed her as she sat in the booth I had just cleaned.

She curled her finger and motioned for me to come near her, which I did.

“I’m a wolf too.

” She said it in a very low voice, just enough for my werewolf hearing to pick it up.

“Oh,” I gasped before I smiled at her.

“Don’t worry.

There’s not much of us around here, so your secret is safe.

” “That’s good to hear.

” I chuckled.

I just met her, but I think I will end up liking her.

“I will ask a server to come and take your order.

Just give me a minute.

” I smiled at her and watched as she pulled her hair out of a ponytail before I turned around.

She looked familiar, though.

I feel like I’ve seen her before, but I couldn’t put my finger on it.

I was just a few steps away from the kitchen when a memory flashed in my head, Pictures.

Tons of them.

Those that were shown to me by Katya.

She looked a bit older now, but she still carried the grace and beauty that she had more than twenty years ago My chest thudded loudly as I turned my body around and went back to where she was sitting.

My eyes scanned the diner and I was glad that the place was almost deserted.

I stopped a few feet away from her and took a deep breath before I opened my mouth to speak.

“Zahra?

” I said, my voice almost croaking.

She snapped her head up and looked at me with a bewildered expression in her eyes.

And now I know why she looked familiar.

Her eyes were the same deep blue eyes as Riley’s.

“Silver Moon Pack?

” I added.

She swallowed before she smiled at me sheepishly.

“You know me?

Although I don’t go by Zahra in this place.

It’s Monica.

” I extended my hand to her, which she took and shook gracefully.

“My name is Nadia.

Nice to meet you, Monica.

” “I didn’t know somebody from that place still knew me. Property belongs to Nôvel(D)r/ama.Org.

Especially at your age.

” I bit my lower lip, contemplating whether I should drop the bomb or add a little segue first.

“I know, Riley.

I mean Alpha Riley.

” I saw the color drain from her face, and I was scared that she would leave, but she didn’t.

“How do you know him?

” “I’m his mate.

Fated mate.

” She gasped as her hand flew to her mouth and her eyes started to water.

I smiled weakly at her, my own tears pooling in my eyes.

“I’ll be done with my shift in less than an hour.

If you… if you have time to spare for me, maybe we can go somewhere and talk?

” Zahra and I walked to the nearest park after my shift was over.

I handed her the coffee that I had, so we had something to drink while we talked.

We chose a bench at the farthest end.

That area was almost deserted except for one couple who were cuddling under a big tree.

I didn’t know how to start our conversation, and I was thankful that she was the one who broke the silence.

“You said you were Riley’s mate, but I’m not sure why you’re here.

And I’m sure that’s not the reason you asked me to come with you.

So if I tell you everything you want to know, will you give me an answer too as to why you are not with him?

” I nodded my head before I took a sip of the coffee in my hand.

“What do you want to know?

” “Why didn’t you come back for Riley?

Are you happy with your life now?

” I asked her.

I didn’t want to sound offensive, but there were so many questions in my head.

“I couldn’t.

And the moment I could, it was too late already.

I don’t think he would want to see me.

And aside from the part where Riley is involved, yes, I am happy.

” “So is it worth it?

To leave him?

” “You’re judging me.

” “Then tell me so I can understand.

” “It’s a long story.

” “I have all the time in the world.

I just wanted to understand you and Riley.

” “Do you love my son?

” “Yes, with all my heart.

” “Why are you here?

” “Perhaps I can tell you tomorrow…” I chuckled softly, tears pooling in my eyes.

“I love Riley too, with all my heart.

” She placed her coffee on the space beside her and took my hand, entwining it with her as she clasped her other hand over our hands.

“Melvin, Riley’s father, is a good man.

And I did love him.

But he’s not my fated mate.

” My jaw dropped open because Riley told me as well as Katya that they were fated mates.

“It was a secret that Melvin took to his grave.

And I thought I would be taking it to mine too.

But I guess some secrets need to come out.

Even if Riley hated me, I don’t want you to hate me, Nadia.

” “I don’t.

I don’t have the right to hate you.

” She smiled before her gaze focused on the view in front of us, her hands still holding mine.

” Melvin and I, we grew up together.

We thought we would end up as mates.

We’ve been together since I was fifteen and he was seventeen.

He was already an Alpha when I turned eighteen.

And we were both devastated when we realized we were not fated mates.

I loved him.

I do.

But I knew that there was no way we could be together when there were people out there meant for us.

So I tried to break it up with him at the same time we found out.

He was inconsolable.

He was furious.

And in his anger, he marked me.

” I bit my lower lip.

I wanted to say something, but I kept my mouth shut.

“I could have run to my parents and told them what he did.

The council would deal with him.

He could be stripped of his title or received more severe punishment, but I didn’t.

I loved him, and I didn’t want him to be punished.

In short, I tolerated his actions.

So we agreed to pretend we were fated mates.

No one questioned it, and no one dared ask me to show them our marks.

I believed my mother doubted it, but she didn’t say a word.

So we kept on with our lies.

I hid the mark with turtleneck clothes and high collars, and Melvin kept his hair long We were happy until I wasn’t anymore.

For two years, I lived with the guilt of our lies.

But nothing was more painful than when Melvin told me he saw his fated mate and rejected her on the spot.

The female didn’t even know she was mated to an Alpha.

And it was only then that I realized that Melvin must be expecting the same thing from me – to reject my fated mate.

And then I got pregnant.

I thought I would be happy, but it got worse.

The pregnancy, the guilt, the lies, it was too much for me.

I was one month away from giving birth to Riley when I saw him.

I swear to the Goddess I tried to stay away.

I did, but it almost brought me to insanity.

When Riley was four months old, I told Melvin about my mate.

He got angry and wanted me to reject him.

But I couldn’t.

The pull was too much and even if I was marked, I couldn’t fight it.

It was the start of constant fights.

It went on for many months.

Until one day, he finally said he was letting me go.

I could never thank him enough.

I told him he could say whatever he wanted about the reason we were separating.

I didn’t care anymore.

I just wanted out.

We rejected each other, and I was ready to go when he told me I couldn’t take Riley with me.

I objected.

What kind of a mother would I be if I left my seven-month-old son?

I told him I would take care of Riley, but he would get to see him as often as he wanted to.

He said Riley was meant to be an Alpha.

I knew that.

And I would not stand in the way.

I told him once Riley turned seven, I would return full guardianship to him, but I wanted Riley’s formative years to be with me.

And he agreed.

I was so happy, Nadia.

All the time I was negotiating with him, I was terrified he would lose his shit and force me to stay so Riley would stay with him.

And I knew if that happened, I would stay.

But he agreed…” She paused from talking, and it was only then that I realized that she was starting to sob I squeezed her hand, letting her know that I was just here if she needed me.

She wiped her tears and smiled weakly, her gaze dropping on our entwined hands.

“Then he asked if he could kiss Riley before we left.

And I gave him my son… It was the only thing I regretted in my life.

That moment that handed Riley to him.

” Her shoulders started to shake, but she didn’t stop talking, despite her sobs.

“And the moment he had him, he rolled off his Alpha command, telling me that I could no longer come near my son.

I tried to fight it off.

My body was shaking, my nose was bleeding, and my head wanted to explode, but I was fighting it off.

I wanted to grab Riley back… But he was so evil.

When he saw I wasn’t giving up, he rolled off another command.

Riley would feel the pain whenever I would approach him.

My heart died that day the moment my baby shrieked in pain when I was trying to grab him.

I was never scared of what he would do to me, but the moment Riley cried, I lost my will to fight for him.

I fled the pack house with only one bag because I was not able to pick up all my other belongings because Riley kept screaming in pain.

I didn’t even have anything from my son.

I didn’t even get to kiss him.

For months, I tried to run after Melvin.

But he refused to see me.

Rumors have already circulated that I abandoned him and Riley for another man.

Even my own family refused to acknowledge me.

And if I come out clean about Melvin and I not being fated mates, what good would it do?

Melvin and I would be punished, and Riley would lose us both.

So I took all the blame and left.

I came back when Riley was five and waited to see if they would visit the neutral city.

I saw him one time, and I tried to come near him, but he suddenly dropped to the ground and started crying.

I still couldn’t get to him.

So if you ask me if I’m happy, I am.

I have two lovely daughters.

I have a lovely mate.

But I couldn’t be fully happy because I knew my son hated me.

That’s why even if I wanted to take my mistakes to the grave, I wanted to tell you so maybe I could get at least one person important in Riley’s life to stop hating me.

I’m proud of him.

I’ve heard of how good he is as an Alpha.

I knew he was destined for greater things when he was born.

And I’m glad that even if I was not present in his life, he was doing so well.

” How do I tell her that her leaving has left a deep scar in Riley’s heart?

That Riley was having a hard time fighting his demons because he thought he was not good enough for even his own mother?

I bit my lower líp as I wiped my own tears.

Everything she told me broke my heart, not just for her but for Riley.

All his life, he just wanted his mother’s love.

And it was there all along, but he just couldn’t get it.

“I missed him.

And I often wonder if I will be able to hug him and kiss him before I die.

” Author’s Note: Here’s a big surprise!

Zahra (Riley’s mother) is here!