Chapter 329 -
~CARTER~
I've never hated myself more than I do right now. I watched her walk away from me. I watched her cry her eyes out and never told her how I truly felt. I made her believe that I didn't care about her. I made her believe that I was a heartless asshole. I made her think that everything I ever said to her was a lie.
I did it all because I felt like she deserved better than me. I didn't know how to offer Scarlett a good life as long as I was under this curse. She would suffer because of it, and I couldn't allow that. I couldn't allow her to suffer because of me.
I didn’t want her to hate me like Nicole hated my brother when she found out the truth.
Though, she already hated me. I’d hurt her even more than I ever hurt Clara. I was never supposed to sleep with her. I was never supposed to take that away from her. But even the chains were not enough to hold me inside that room.
Still, I never expected her to walk out onto the field in the middle of a game to confront me.
Everyone saw her at her worst, and it was my fault. She didn't give a care in the world when she walked out onto that field and slapped me across my face. And damn me, it took me those few seconds to realize that I was indeed in love with her. In those seconds, I realized just how much I loved her. I was crazy about Scarlett, crazy to the point that I let her go for her own good. It would hurt now, but eventually, the pain would ease.
She said she loved me; and the second that she did, I was tempted to drop to my knees and beg for her forgiveness. In those seconds, I almost forgot about everything else.
Scarlett didn't know what she did to me. She had no clue how much she meant to me. She thought she was just like any other girl to me. She may never know the truth, not when the secret was safe with me. Exclusive © material by Nô(/v)elDrama.Org.
I didn't just destroy what I had with her. I also destroyed her relationship with her sister.
She was right; I did take everything from her. I ruined her happiness, and there was nothing that I could do to make it up to her. There was nothing I could do to help her fix things with Clara. I knew there was no chance for us either.
I couldn't just fucking stand here and say there was nothing I could do to fix things.
I knew what I had to do. I had to find Clara and beg her to forgive Scarlett. It was the least I could do after everything I put her through.
I slam my fist against the wall in front of me and press my forehead against it. I wanted to run after Scarlett so badly. I hated myself for what I just did to her.
I did the opposite of what I really wanted to do.
"Hey!" Ares catches up to me. "What the hell was all of that about?"
He wasn't home this morning; he didn't know the entire story. He didn't know I had fucked Scarlett last night like she was nothing to me. He didn't know that I had done the unforgivable.
It surprised me that Scarlett could love me after what I did to her. How long did she know that she loved me? Was that why she accepted what I did to her last night? Because she loved me.
Even if she could forgive me, I couldn't forgive myself. Her first time shouldn't have been in the middle of the fucking woods. It should have been special, and I should have worshipped every single inch of her body. Instead, I couldn't even remember a single detail about last night. I had no idea what it felt like to be inside her or what she looked like while I buried my seed inside her.
I felt sick, sick, sick!
"Carter?"
"I broke free last night again, Ares," I inform him. "I made a fucking mess out of everything. I went straight for Scarlett. I took her into the woods, and I . . ."
I couldn't even finish my sentence.
"Fuck." Ares whispers. "I didn't know. Why didn't you say something sooner? We could have fixed this before it turned into this mess."
He didn't understand.
"She didn't come here tonight to complain about that," I explain. "She didn't hit me because of last night. She slapped me because I told her that it meant nothing to me. I told her that we should both keep our distance from each other."
He frowns, "why would you do that?"
"Why else?" I demand. "This curse is the worst thing that’s ever happened to our family. I cannot drag Scarlett down with me. She deserves to have a normal, happy life. She deserves to be with someone else."
Just the thought of her with another man was enough to drive me insane. I didn’t want to think about it. However, I wanted her to be happy even if it meant that it wasn’t with me.