The Mafia Contract Series

A million thoughts race through my head as Alessandro pulls me to my feet and we walk silently back to the house. My situation is weighing heavily on my mind, and I am torn between clinging onto the lifeline he has thrown me and rejecting it out of hand.

We head inside and the house feels empty in the dead of night, and I whisper, “Where is everyone?”

He shrugs. “Malik is probably in his room monitoring the world on CCTV and who knows where Flynn is?”

“Is he ok?”

Alessandro nods. “He’s fine.”

I follow him to the kitchen and watch as he grabs some mugs from the cupboard and nods toward the barstool. “I’ll make you a coffee to warm you up.”

“Thanks.”

As I watch him, I feast my eyes on a man crafted from my own dreams.

His biceps are huge and his muscles ripple under the tight t-shirt he wears, and the low-rise jeans reveal an ass I long to feel in my hands. His hair is tied back tonight, revealing those broad shoulders and the stubble grazing his chin, makes me squirm on my seat because unlike the guys at the house next door, Alessandro is a man not a boy and I have never wanted to know what a man feels like-what he feels like, so much in my life.

Trying to distract my thoughts, I say with interest, “Tell me about Flynn.

Why does he feel so much and then walk away?”

He sighs. “Because he hates feeling anything but can’t help himself. He is like the rest of us, desperate for love and everything it brings, but afraid of how weak that makes him.”

He turns and hands me the coffee, and his eyes glitter with anger. “No connections, no emotion. That’s the only way we can survive, but it’s not that easy sometimes.”

“So, Flynn does care for Emma.”

“Probably.” He drops down on the stool beside me and leans on the counter, making me itch to trace my fingers over his broad biceps.

“Flynn allows himself to feel more than the rest of us and then struggles to kill those feelings afterward. He takes off, sometimes for days, and deals with it in his own way. When he returns, he brings a little more madness with him, and that worries me.”

I fall silent because I’ve seen the madness in his eyes and know it’s a very bad thing because one day it will destroy him in a far more devastating way than allowing himself to love someone and I feel concerned for him.

Alessandro sighs and says with a resignation I share, “Well, I’m heading to the sack. You should do the same.”

He stands and I follow him and as we head to the stairs, I feel the loneliness wrapping me in bitterness.

We head upstairs, one behind the other and as he makes to turn right at the top of the first staircase, he growls, “Goodnight, Winter, and I’m sorry.”

“About what?”

“For not being good enough.”

He makes to go, and I reach out and grab his arm and whisper angrily, “Don’t you dare say you’re not good enough, Alessandro, you are…” I drop my hand and sigh. “Well… anyway, just don’t.”

I turn and walk away because I don’t want to open my heart to him and let him step inside because, like Flynn, I don’t think I could cope with the pain when he leaves.

AS I HEAD to my own room, I feel lonely and bitterly disappointed that my evening ended this way. For once, I was free, and it felt so good. It seems that all I want is the freedom to develop feelings for the man I’ve just left behind.

As I change and sit on my bed, I think about Emma and how amazing it proved for her. She traded her virginity for confidence, and she has no regrets.

The loneliness is depressing me, so I jump from my bed and head off to find her. Maybe she will let me stay with her because I don’t want to be alone, not tonight.

As I push my way into her room, the moonlight illuminates the empty bed and I sigh. She’s not back, which tells me she’s enjoying a much better night than me.

Picturing the happiness on her face when she told me how amazing it was with Flynn and that she never regretted a thing, makes me long for that same experience.

Maybe it’s the alcohol and maybe it’s the effects of the past twenty-four hours, but Alessandro’s words return to haunt me. Could I accept his offer and allow him to arrange our marriage? What would that feel like?

Then I think of his future and the chance of making his dreams come true and know I can never be the one to take that from him. Then I think of my future and the pain hits me hard. It’s an impossible situation that I can see no way out of.

Looking at Emma’s empty bed, I see my future flash before my eyes. A cold, emotionless future, with a man who will use my body to bear children and treat me like another employee. I know how it works. I’ve been told as much by my father. Just picturing his evil, twisted face, snarling at me, telling me my role is to spread my legs and do what my husband tells me. Never complain and never expect anything more than a good hard fuck and if I’m lucky, that’s all I’ll get. I’m to marry to give my father protection. A rival family that will merge with my own and make us stronger. That’s all I am, a commodity, and it hurts like hell.

Then the madness really takes hold as an idea sparks in my mind. Can I really have my one night only? To gift myself the dream for a brief moment of time. To make my own decision about what I do with my body and if the consequences of that end my life on my marital bed, I will have had a lucky escape from a lifetime of madness.

My heart quickens as I sense change coming. Something that I can do for myself and fuck the consequences. I know just where I’m heading and if I’m rejected, then at least I tried.

Feeling a little giddy with excitement, I push the door to Emma’s room open and walk silently down the hallway, my stomach churning.

As I creep down the stairs, a thousand reasons why I should head back the way I came argues with my impetuous foolishness. But I push them away because I want this more than I want my life to continue and so, as I retrace my footsteps and head to Alessandro’s room, I feel my heart thumping out of control. This is madness, certifiable madness that will only end badly, but I can’t deal with that right now. I am driven by lust and a sense of doing something for me, for once in my life. For one night only, what can be wrong about that?

I ALMOST BACK OUT as I pass silently through the hallway and head toward his room. What am I thinking? I will look desperate. A fool. Madness clothed in depravity because I want just one night with him.

A faint sound from another room makes my heart quicken. Malik’s room.

Will he come out and find me creeping through the darkness? If anything, it spurs me on faster and as I reach Alessandro’s door, I think my heart can knock on it for me because it is banging so loudly, I can hear nothing else.

My mouth is dry and there’s a buzzing in my head, but the sense of anticipation is a delicious taste on my tongue because I have never felt so alone. I’m really doing this–something for myself because it’s what I want.

Taking charge of my life to give me a delicious memory to cherish and do something on my own terms, for once.This text is property of Nô/velD/rama.Org.

I have never felt surer of anything in my life before and I don’t think of the consequences, just of what I want.

Is this madness or destiny? I’m about to find out, so I turn the handle and open the door a crack, the darkness in the room telling me its occupant has turned in for the night.

Slipping inside, I close the door quietly and feel my heart race as I edge through the darkness and whisper, “Alessandro.”

There’s nothing but a slight movement and it’s not coming from the direction of the bed. My heart races as a low voice growls, “Go back to your room, Winter.”

It makes me jump and I peer through the darkness and swallow hard as the moonlight picks out the man I’ve come to find and I say softly, “I came to ask you a favor.”

“Denied, leave.”

His voice is rough with an edge to it that should have me backing away, but I feel emboldened by alcohol and say firmly, “No. I want you to do something for me and if you won’t, I’ll find someone who will.”

Like lightning striking its unfortunate victim, he crosses the room and grabs my hand, pulling me toward him sharply and crushing me against his body. His strong arms lock around my waist and he dips his head and growls, “Not fucking likely.”

My heart beats so fast I can’t keep up and I say with a hitch in my voice, “Please, Alessandro, one night only. It has to be you.”

For a moment there’s silence and all I hear is the sound of the clock ticking down to my eternal damnation and he says with a hint of sadness, “Don’t you think I want this more than anything?” His words are so soft I strain to hear them, and he sighs. “I want you so much, I’m losing my mind. I can’t sleep. I can’t fucking operate because you are all I see. But I can’t. It would seal your death warrant and how could I live with myself knowing I caused an angel to fall? Your brother would kill me, and I’d welcome the release from a lifetime of madness that would sentence me to.”

He pulls me toward him so hard it knocks the air from my lungs, and he growls, “You are asking for the impossible.”

Reaching up, I touch his face, loving how the stubble grazes sharply against my hand. I fix him with my most desperate look and say slightly broken, “Please, just one night, it must be you. Don’t you think I know what I’m asking, the danger I’m putting us both in. I can’t see past this need inside me to experience something so beautiful it can only come from you. Just thinking of my first time being with a man my father chooses makes my soul weep. I need this and I know I’m asking a lot, but if I have just one amazing memory, I can cope with the rest of the shit that follows.”

Leaning against his chest, I love how he smells. Musky, the scent of a man, my man and I need to know what that feels like.

He pulls back a little and raises my face to his and I watch his dark eyes glittering with emotion as he growls, “I can refuse you nothing, Winter, but I know I must try. This is a bad decision that should never be allowed to happen.”

“Please, Alessandro, I’m begging you to make this one time count.

Please, if it’s the last thing I ever do, I want it to be with you.”

His lips crash against mine with a hunger that sends me reeling. The desperate kiss of a lover in impossible circumstances. Hard, demanding and possessive, desperate even as his tongue clashes with mine as he holds my head in his hands.

He devours me, enters my personal space and sets up home. We kiss like star-crossed lovers in waiting because that’s exactly how it feels. His growl of desperation matches the one inside me and as he pulls away, I feel as if he takes my will to survive along with him.

Panicking slightly, I say huskily, “It has to be you; no one will ever know.

Please, this is the only thing I want.”

A battle plays across his face, and I watch it, holding my breath. A thousand emotions flood the room in a very short space of time and then he says darkly, “On my terms only.”

“Which are?”

“You marry me.”

My heart dives because I know what that involves, and the determination in his eyes tells me it’s an unconditional requirement.

Nodding, I take a deep breath and say, “Ok.”

“You will?” He stares at me as if stepping into my soul and I nod, keeping emotion from playing any part in this. “I agree, Alessandro. Make the call and do what you must. Set me free and I’ll always be yours.”

The words stick in my throat because this is the last thing I want him to promise me, but I already know it’s the only condition and the only way I’ll get what I want-him.

His eyes sparkle with lust and I hitch my breath because now I’ve started something I’m not sure either of us will survive.