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175 Ava: A Wolf’s Identity
If Vanessa was here, I’d love to talk to her.
Unfortunately, she’s not. We’re on a plane, and she’s still in Blackwood, plotting on how to force answers out of my mom’s wolf.
So I look at Kellan..
“If your mate kept secrets from you, even if it’s for the best of reasons, in order to accomplish a goal–how would you react?”
“Furious.” His answer is swift, and his eyes suspicious. “What are you up to now, Ava?”
“Nothing. Shame twists my gut as I turn back to the window. His immediate reaction is to think I’m up to something, bringing trouble to those around me.
It’s not like I blame him, but the feeling I’m left with is…
Sticky. Gross. Awful.
A few days ago, I would have chafed at such a response, frustrated over Kellan treating me like an errant child.
But now?
His uneasy stare bores into the back of my head, and I rest my
head against the window with a sigh. “Do you ever argue with your wolf?
“Not anymore. I used to. Why, are you having problems with yours? Published by Nôv'elD/rama.Org.
175 Ava A Woll’s identity
My head snaps around faster than should be possible. “What do you mean, mine? I don’t have a-
“Yeah, yeah,” Kellan leans back, closing his eyes. “You don’t have a wolf. But I’ve seen that look on your face a thousand times. We’re all shifters, Ava.”
I can’t help it; I touch my cheeks in confusion. “What look?”
Cracking open one eye, Kellan looks exasperated. “The look. Talking to her. You do it when you think we aren’t watching, and half the time you do it out
Shit. Really?
“Why didn’t you tell Lucas?”
“Some things don’t need to be reported.” He rolls his shoulders, trying to get comfortable. “Some things are yours to tell. And I had no proof of my suspic
Double shit. I’d confirmed his guess. He was bluffing.
Smart, Selene says in approval, the first real glimmer of energy I’ve seen since Vanessa spoke with us.
“That’s top secret information,” I whisper, and he makes a vague
circular motion with his hand.
“All human, all of them listening to that godawful movie they put
1. on. You’re fine.”
Somewhat mollified, settle back into my seat, distracted from my darker thoughts by this new surprise. Overall, I’m relieved. I won’t have to hide Selene’s
17. 17.
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18 As A Wolf’s demity
“So, what’s the secret?”
Kellan’s voice comes out of nowhere after another long period of silence, and I blink at him in surprise.
“What secret?”
“The one you’re hiding from your mate,” he says impatiently. “You asked how I would feel-”
“Oh. That. No, that was just theoretical.”
“Ava…”
He doesn’t believe me, and I sigh. “Vanessa sat me down for a wolves and the babes discussion this morning.”
“Wolves and the babes? Didn’t you learn that at–oh.” Understanding dawns on his face. “You didn’t have a wolf.”
Giving a one shoulder shrug, I just say, “Bingo.”
Kellan glances at Selene, who’s peering at him from beneath the seat. I don’t know if he understands that she’s my wolf, but I don’t feel like verifying tha
Later, in private.
Relaxing now, he sighs. “When we’re young, we fight with our wolves a lot. They’re more instinctual than we are. Fighting over perceived insults, tussles
sometimes.”
“I see.” That doesn’t help my situation. Selene isn’t really bloodthirsty.
17:44
17h Ave. A Woll’s identity
Am I not?
1 remember Lucas hated his wolf for a while. Said he was sick of hearing about dominance and getting into fights just because someone looked at him the wrong way. Guess it’s harder with an alpha wolf.”
A faint smile plays around his mouth, and Kellan’s face is more relaxed than I’ve seen it since the party. The massacre. Lisa’s kidnapping.
“One time, his wolf even convinced him he’d be better off running. away and starting a new pack. Of course, we don’t really do that kind of thing when we
“What did he do?”
“Oh, he ran off. Took me and a few of our friends with him. We camped in the forest as wolves and were ready to start life as
rogues.”
Fascinated despite the cycle of negative thoughts in my head, I turn a little more in my chair, pulling a leg up beneath me to get comfortable. “And? Wha
Kellan grins openly now, opening his eyes to meet mine. “It rained. We found out that we could either eat raw meat or starve for the night.”
That doesn’t sound so unusual.
“We don’t normally eat first blood until we’re adults and have an easier time separating our senses during shift, he explains.
“Ahh.” I’d never paid attention to such details. They didn’t apply to
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me, site I didn’t have a wolf. They still don’t apply to me, as I can’t shift.
I prefer cooked food to raw, but not that kibble you like to feed me. It tastes like charcoal with drops of flavoring
Noted.
“Lucas caught a rabbit, took one taste, and they fought because he
wanted to shift back and go home. He snorted. “Alpha, my ass. We’re all just kids at that point. Alpha or not, he wanted his mom’s
dinner.
“Wow.” It’s hard to imagine Lucas acting that way, but it makes me smile to think of a younger version of him throwing a fit because he had no way to cook his rabbit.
“His wolf didn’t talk to him for weeks. Said he was bonded to a weakling who had no idea how to lead. They worked it out eventually. Our wolves don’t ta
settle in.”
How odd. I wonder why? I can’t imagine Selene… not talking.
Perhaps it’s the identity crisis of human and wolf.
Perhaps.
She sounds frustrated again.
What have you been thinking about?
Selene huffs. Humans. Wolves. Memories.
That’s a lot of nothing for an answer, but I’m used to it from her.
My memories are odd, she finally says, sounding confused.
376 Aa Attending the tes