My Hockey Alpha



Chapter 0579All text © NôvelD(r)a'ma.Org.

Nina

Lori's sobs wracked her body, and I held onto her tightly, trying to offer whatever comfort I could. The sterile hospital waiting room seemed like it was worlds away from the tranquil pine trees outside, and the smell of cleaning agents was almost dizzying.

"Lori, what happened?" I managed through my own tears, pulling away just enough to look my friend in the eye. She opened her mouth to speak, but it seemed like the words wouldn't come for a moment. All she could manage was "Car accident," before she broke into another sob. I pulled her close again, letting her cry into my chest.

I had never seen Lori like this. Never. She was always the calm one, the one who seemed to always have her shit together even when it couldn't be further from the truth. But when it came to Jessica, Lori wore her heart on her sleeve.

I felt so helpless at that moment, and all I could do was rub her back in gentle circles, hoping to offer some comfort even though it felt as though my soul and my body were splitting into two.

"The doctor said... he said she has internal bleeding," Lori finally managed to choke out between tears. "They need to do surgery, Nina. And he warned me... he warned me that she might not make it."

My heart sank at those words. The mere thought of losing Jessica was unbearable. She had been there with us, through thick and thin, for years now. I still remembered our freshman year together when the three of us got put together as suitemates...

"Hey. I'm Jessica," she said, extending her hand to me. I responded in kind, although it was always difficult for me to meet new people. But there was something about this blonde girl in her all-pink outfit that was oddly comforting, as though we had known each other in a past life.

"Nina," I said, offering her a weak smile.

"Nice to meet you, Nina. And you are...?" Jessica turned on her heel to face the girl who had been sitting in the comer this entire time, her nose buried in a sketchbook.

She had long black hair that she wore in a sloppy bun on top of her head, and was wearing an oversized band t- shirt and ripped jeans. She had headphones on, and said nothing when Jessica addressed her.

"Rude," Jessica said before I had a chance to butt in. Without a second thought, she stormed over to the black- haired girl and ripped her headphones off.

"Hey! What the fuck?!" the black-haired girl exclaimed, grabbing her headphones back from Jessica.

"I was trying to introduce myself," Jessica said, folding her arms across her chest. "I'm Jessica."

"Well, fuck you, Jessica," the black-haired girl hissed. "Don't touch my headphones. I'm busy."

Jessica leaned forward on her toes to look at the black-haired girl's sketchbook. "Hmm," she said, sounding genuinely intrigued. "You're good. Like, really good. That's one of my favorite characters."

The black-haired girl paused as she was about to put her headphones back on and shot Jessica a confused look, eyeing her all-pink outfit up and down. "You're telling me that you watch this show?"

Jessica nodded enthusiastically. "I do. It's my comfort show."

There was a long silence, and I felt like an outside spectator, watching something wonderful that was about to begin. The black-haired girl didn't fully smile, but I could see the ghost of one twitching at the comers of her lips. Her eyes softened, and although it was three years before they confessed their love for one another, I think that, deep down, they knew it at that exact moment.

Finally, the black-haired girl stuck her hand out. "I'm Lori."

.."It's all my fault," Lori whimpered, her voice hardly more than a whisper.

Startled, I pulled back slightly and looked into her red, puffy eyes. "Lori, what are you talking about? This isn't your fault."

Tears streamed down her cheeks as she blinked up at me. "I called her while she was driving," she confessed, her voice breaking. "We were arguing about something so stupid, Nina. I was so angry, and I kept yelling at her. I should have just waited for her to get home, but I kept pushing her buttons, and..."

My heart ached for Lori as she blamed herself for the accident, and I tightened my grip on her. "Lori, accidents happen. There's no way you could have known. Don't blame yourself."

Lori buried her face in my shoulder, her tears soaking my shirt. "But I distracted her," she sobbed. "I distracted her, and she swerved into the oncoming lane. It's all my fault."

I continued to hold her, gently rubbing her back as she cried. It was difficult to find the right words to console her, to make her believe that this accident was not her doing.

"You didn't make her swerve, Lori," I said softly. "Accidents happen on the road all the time, even when you're paying full attention to the road."

Lori clung to me as if I were her lifeline. I guided her over to a pair of hospital chairs, and we sat down beside each other. My own face was streaked with tears, but right now I just wanted to focus on comforting my friend.

As we sat together, the hum of hospital activity punctuating the silence, I couldn't help but think about the fragility of life; how, at any moment, our light could be snuffed out like a candle. How, at any moment, it could all be over-and it could happen to any of us. Even the most vibrant people, like our dear Jessica, wouldn't be safe forever.

Eventually, a nurse approached us, her scrubs crisp and clean, her demeanor professional.

"I'm here to inform you that your fiancee is in surgery now," she said, her eyes kind as she regarded Lori.

"Will she be okay?" Lori blurted out.

The nurse sighed. "There's no way of knowing just yet, but rest assured that our doctors are doing their very best," she assured Lori. "We'll be sure to keep you updated in the meantime, okay?"

Lori nodded, but I could sense the fear shaking her. We watched the nurse leave, and then I had an idea. I stood, holding my hand out for Lori. "C'mon," I said when she shot me a wary look. "Follow me."

Hesitantly, Lori took my hand and stood. I led her down the hall, following the signs to the cafeteria. Once we were there, despite Lori's protests, I bought us both a coffee, and a muffin for Lori because I knew that she likely hadn't eaten all day.

We settled into a table by the window, and Lori sat beside me, miserably picking at her muffin.

"I just wish I could go back in time and change what happened," Lori whispered, her voice filled with regret.

I squeezed her hand gently. "I know you do, Lori. But we can't change the past. All we can do now is be here for Jessica and for each other."

Lori nodded, her grip on my hand tightening. "I just hope she's going to be okay, Nina. I can't live without her."

"Me neither," I whispered.

With a sigh, I wrapped my arm around her shoulders. My own coffee sat untouched in front of me, a fragile attempt at normalcy that I knew was pointless.