My Dream Marriage

One week later.

The past week has been hectic, running up and down in preparation for dad’s funeral. Today is his final send-off. I have been stronger all through, the strength that I didn’t know I could gather at a time like this. My mother too has been okay, seeing to it that her husband gets the last respect he deserves.Belonging © NôvelDram/a.Org.

We are seated at the chapel stationed right at the cemetery, the priest giving out the sermon. My friends Jackie and Azila are here as always, offering me the support that I need. My former boss also is in attendance. My husband’s family are seated together with us at the front row seats. There are bigwigs in the chapel as well, mainly Lawanson family’s aides and I think I saw Aniston as well.

The priest finishes his sermon and now it’s time for the body to be taken to the final resting place. With my mother holding my dad’s picture and I holding her hand we march out of the chapel towards the grave site. She occasionally wipes her tears while I struggle to keep mine at bay. The casket is wheeled off infront of us and placed gently on the casket lowering machine ready to be lowered into the grave.

The priest prays for my dad’s soul to rest in peace and the body is lowered slowly into the silent earth that is now going to be my dad’s home from now onwards. I pray that he rests in peace until we meet again. I throw in the flower that I had in my hand but my mother offers to sprinkle some soil on the casket. The priest gives her a spade full of it and she takes a handful and sprinkles it. I don’t like the little sounds that are made when the soil makes contact with the casket.

I feel something hit my toes and I hiss out in pain. I look down and it’s my dad’s picture frame that my mom was holding that fell on me. Did she drop it? “Someone please hold her!” Someone shouts from the crowd. It is my mother who almost hit the ground with all the emotions engulfing her. I know she can’t stand the fact that she will never meet her husband here on earth ever again.

“Mom! Wake up, what is happening to you?” I ask when she opens her eyes almost immediately. She’s been taken away from the crowd to breathe in some fresh air. “Neera, your father is calling me, I need to get to him,” she breathes. “Mom, what are you saying? Dad is not here!” What the hell? “Yes Neera, he’s here and he wants to go with me,” she is breathing hard and right now I don’t know if she’s going insane or she’s dreaming. “Neera, what’s wrong? What happened to your mother?” Azila is beside me. “Can you call the ambulance, please?” I request her and she fishes out her phone. “Do you need some water?” “I can’t breathe Neera, I just want to rest,” she says. “Mom, I don’t understand what you are saying. You have to get to the hospital first. You will be fine.”

“I don’t think I will get to the hospital, Neera. I just want to rest with my husband, he wants us to be together.” “Mom! Are you crazy? Daddy is dead, how can you rest together with him?” I ask, she is not making any sense right now at all. The ambulance is taking too long to get here.

“Neera, we need to take her to the hospital,” Edward says, crouching down next to me. “The ambulance is on its way here,” Azila says. We can hear sirens from a distance.

My mother is laid on the stretcher and wheeled to the ambulance. First aid is conducted and from the looks of it I hope she is going to get well. She had stopped breathing hard and I think she was regaining her full consciousness. I will have to go with them to the hospital. I try to get in but I am blocked by the nurses. “There is no need, young lady,” he says. “I want to accompany you to the hospital, she is my mother,” I say in hopes that I will be given access since I am her daughter. “Oh, I am so sorry you can’t come right now, there is no need. I don’t want to beat around the bush but we lost her,” he says.

“What? What does that mean?” I ask. “What I mean is that she is no more. She showed signs of hypertension and given the situation she was in today, she experienced cardiac arrest. I am so sorry,” he says tapping my shoulder.

He must be kidding, how can my mother die just like that. She was okay not so long ago and now this man here is spitting nonsense. Azila holds me gently and looks at me with pity in his eyes. “It’s true Neera, she truly is no more,” she says but I feel no emotion whatsoever because I don’t think they are telling me anything that is making sense. The ambulance doors close and it leaves the cemetery, I know they are off to the hospital.

“Neera, we need to leave now,” Edward says. “Can I be with her for the time being?” Azila asks. “Yes,” he says, leading the way and we get into the car back to the Lawanson mansion.

“I am not hungry,” I say for the umpteenth time. Azila has been coercing me into eating since we came here to the house. Martha has cooked different dishes one after another thinking that I didn’t like the previous ones that she had cooked. Everytime she asks the question over and over again, “you didn’t like this one. Is it not to your liking?”

“Then say something,” Azila says. “What do you want me to say? I have nothing to say.” “You can cry at least. You don’t want to eat, you aren’t saying much and this is worrying me. Your mother is gone and gone forever, she is not coming back Neera, for crying out loud,” she says.

“Why did she do this to me? Why did she leave me alone? Doesn’t she love me anymore?” I look at Azila and ask. “She loves you much more, her time was up in this world and she needed to leave. It is the way for all of us here on earth at some point,” she says and her words feel like a thousand needles prickling my heart. I let out heart wrenching sobs as Azila hugs me and lets me cry until I have no more tears left.

*****

My mother is buried beside my father two days later. I can’t believe I buried my parents in less than two weeks. Their names and bright pictures of them are engraved on their tombstones, with fresh bouquets of flowers. This is fate and I just have to live with it, a total orphan.

“Thank you for being there for me,” I tell my two friends. Jackie, despite her condition, has been with me all this while comforting me. She must have understood me better given she lost her mother at a young age. Both of them have given me limitless support during this trying time.

“Call me in case of anything,” Azila says. “I will, thank you,” I say. “Enough with this thank you’s, off you go,” Jackie says leading me towards the already opened car door. I get in and they wave at me. I wave back and Alex drives Edward and I off from the cemetery back home.

It’s time for dinner. Edward, Eric and Piper are at the table waiting to be served. I sit down next to Edward, while Martha serves us one by one.

“Neera, what are your plans for tomorrow?” Edward asks me. “Nothing, I guess,” I say. “Good. My parents and I were discussing your old house given that it doesn’t have an occupant,” he continues. “What about it?” I ask. “Tomorrow, you will have to go and take whatever it is that you feel is important to you that belongs to your parents. The house is on sale as we speak,” he says. “What? Why?” I ask. “Are you planning on going back to stay there?” Piper asks. “No,” I say. “Then do as we say. We already have a few buyers who are interested in the house so you have to go and pick whatever you want from there to create space for them,” Eric says. When did they plan this? “It’s settled then, bon appetit,” Piper says.

I take a spoonful of the food but it tastes and smells awful but I swallow regardless. My stomach churns and I feel nauseous all of a sudden. I run just in time to empty everything into the toilet until there is no more. I have no strength to stand up and leave the toilet. I just lean on the wall to try and restore my breath.

Edward comes in and kneels beside me. “Are you okay?” He asks. “Yes but I am feeling so tired right now,” I admit. “You need to get off the floor right now,” he says and I stretch my hand to hold him for support. He helps me stand up and I feel dizzy, my legs giving out and my vision is blurry. Edward picks me up bridal style and takes me to our bedroom. “What is wrong with her, Edward?” Piper asks. “I don’t know, she was dizzy and had thrown up when I found her,” Edward says. “How long have you been throwing up and feeling like this?” Piper asks. “Since yesterday,” I say. “Let me call the doctor,” Eric says.

I have been feeling dizzy and I vomited twice yesterday. I thought it was because of the restlessness I have been having since the death of my father. “She will be here in no time,” Eric says.

A few moments later, a female doctor comes inside the room led by Martha. “Greetings Mr and Mrs Lawanson,” she says. “You are welcome. Neera here needs a checkup,” Piper says. Everyone leaves the room leaving me and the doctor alone.

“My name is doctor Alma. So Neera, tell me, how are you feeling?” She asks me in a gentle voice. “I have been feeling dizzy and nauseous since yesterday,” I say. “Okay then,” she says and goes on to do whatever she knows that has to be done.

“I will have to go and do some tests from the samples that I have collected. In the meantime, you need to take enough rest. I will be leaving now,” she says and exits the room.

Martha comes back carrying some food on the tray. He places it on a small stool near the bed and helps me sit upright. “I made some soup for you,” she says. “Thank you,” I say. “Neera, I know that you have been up and down recently. This has really taken a toll on you. You have to rest properly and if you need anything, just ask me, I will come back to collect the utensils later after you are done, don’t bother to bring them downstairs,” she says. “I will and thank you for looking out for me,” I say.

I wonder what is wrong with me. I don’t think I can be pregnant now, my period has been delayed by a few days but no. I only got married a few weeks ago. I am not ready for pregnancy right now. I want to know Edward better before bringing a kid in the picture. I want to be at least twenty seven or something before I commit fully into parenthood.

I finish my soup and place the utensils on the stool and decide to lie down. Everyone wants me to take a rest. Today was such a long day. Who am I kidding? I need the rest so badly.