CHAPTER TWENTY SEVEN
“Blaze.”
“Hmm.”
“Blaze.” I slowly open my eyes and I saw Maggie’s face near me. “Blaze.”
“Why? I am not in the mood.”
“Stupid, come with me.”
“To where?”
“Pee.”
“What the f— Maggie?”
“What, what the f—? I want to pee, you just want me to pee here?”
“Fine.” I have no choice but to come with her. She is afraid of the ghost as what she said. “Let’s go.” She entered the comfort room while I waited for her outside.
“Hey, what are you doing out there?” she asks.
“Waiting for you.”
“What are you waiting for? You came in here.”
“What?”
“Are you stupid? What if there’s a ghost here?”
“Shit!” Again, I have no choice.
“Are you trying to seduce me?”
“In your dreams. Turn around, you’re talking too much.”
I turned around as I stood by Maggie’s side. I heard the rush of water from her. Imagining where it came from made me a boner. The heck. I heard a water splash sign that she cleaned her private part.
‘Fuck, Maggie, even you did not wash it. I can clean it with my saliva. ‘
“Are you done raping me, Blaze?”
“What are you talking about?” She is now standing beside me.
“You’re hard dick talks a lot.” And she looks at my bulge. “Miss me huge bunny?” My bulge sprang inside.
“Let’s go out and I’ll go to sleep.”
“Just sleep?”
“Depends, Maggie, what you want.”
“Let’s just sleep.” We go to bed and lay together. It’s 2 AM and I don’t know if I’ll be able to sleep or just wait until morning.
“It’s really nice to pee. It’s as nice as you reach orgasm.”
“You know Maggie, I will let you use my body. Just say it and I’ll give it to you.”
“I can satisfy myself, Blaze.” I pulled her closer to me. Her face is very close to my face. “You want me to satisfy you, too?”
“Would you?”
“No,” she said and buried her face to my chest. “I just want to hug you.”
“Maggie,”
“Hmm,”
“I am sorry for everything. Margot told us everything. I am so damn stupid to call you worthless whereas when we were together you did nothing but love, serve and please me.” I hugged her tight. “I am sorry Maggie. I will never get tired of asking an apology to you.”
“It’s happened. We can turn back the time. The damage has been and we can’t fix it. But we can replace it with good memories, again.” She pushed her head even harder into my chest. “Do you know I passed out twice when you leave me that night?”
“What?” I pushed her to see her face.
“I am telling you not to make you feel guilty. But to let you know.”
“God, I don’t know.”
“Probably, that’s why I’m telling you.” She arranged to lie down but pulled my arm to make a pillow. “When you leave. I feel my body numb. I feel like I’m slowly being swallowed up by darkness and I can’t breathe. I scream and passed out.”
“I heard you scream but I didn’t come back.”
“Good, because you might have changed your mind and feel pity for me. When I woke up. I couldn’t breathe, remembering that I am alone. I broke everything. I punched everything I could see.” So maybe that is why she had a bandage when I saw him at BCC. “I ran to our room. I thought it was just a dream and you were just in the room. But I saw your closet and your belongings weren’t there. So, I cried and cried and I passed out. Again.”
“Maggie.” I hugged her but she laughed.
“When I woke up I was dizzy and I felt like I wasn’t in my body. I can’t feel my body and I was so scared thinking I would die. So I went downstairs and drank water but nothing happened. I feel my body trembling in cold. I was so cold that I couldn’t understand myself. I opened the stove. The heat and fire brought me some air. So I burned down the house.” Then she looks at me with a laugh. “Joke, that’s not the real reason why I really burned the house.”
“What is the real reason, then?”
“That house brought me bad memories. And my mom told me if the things that reminded you about your pain and sadness, burn it. So I burned the house. It was effective. Seeing the house burning gradually made me lose my coolness. I feel like all the air I’ve lost is coming back and my breathing is normal. That’s how I feel.”
“Maggie, I don’t know what to say.”
“I told you before, there are those who are looking for someone to talk to not to ask for advice. There are those who are looking for someone to talk to express their thoughts and have someone to listen to. I just want to speak and I’m not waiting for an answer.”
“But we’re talking about us. The night that I hurt you. The night that I left you.”
“So?” I pulled her closer to me. What if something happened to her when she fainted? What if she never woke up? Fuck, I can’t imagine myself if Maggie finally disappeared next to me. Maybe I’ll just be next.
“Hey! Why are you crying? I’m still alive.” She wiped my tears.
“I’m sorry Mag. I’m so sorry for hurting you. Let me make up for it. If you’re not ready to trust me even just as a friend first. Please.”
“Friends with benefits, is it ok?”
“Sure.” I kissed her and she kissed me back but she also broke up.
“Good, because I don’t want to dry out and I have no plans to water others if you can be called, right?” I smile while holding back a laugh. “Oh, that’s right you’re so excited.”
“Mag,” I comb her hair. “I love you so much, Mag, I’ll wait for you until you will trust me again as long as you just let me be by your side.”
“I’m not normal anymore, Blaze. I’m aware of that. When I’m hurt, I feel like I’m losing my sanity and I’m hurting myself. I’m going crazy that I don’t know.”
“Mag, you’re not crazy, maybe you just have trips that most people can’t understand. But that’s normal for you so you’re normal. Not because your trip isn’t their trip you’re crazy. Not because they can’t do what you can do you’re insane. For me, you are unique, one of a kind.”
“You just said that because you love me.”
“I’m saying this because that’s the truth. Because now I understand you. I can really see the real you that other people can’t see. So, for me you’re normal.”This text is property of Nô/velD/rama.Org.
“Even if I’m hurting myself?”
“If that’s where you’re getting ok. Not unless you hurting others.”
“Nah, I don’t want to hurt anyone, mentally, physically. I know the feeling of being hurt. So why would I do to them what I don’t want others to do to me? I will only hurt myself and at least I am my own enemy. Well, not with the people who will try to block my way. It’s also hard to be kind to those who make fun of you. ”
“Mag, I am here, I am here for you always.”
“Just wait for me.” And she kissed me. “Blaze.”
“Hmp?”
“My throat is itchy, poke it to scratch.”
“Maggie!” She laughed then leaned over me.
“Seeing you holding your desire makes me happier. The respect and the lust are in your eyes and I love it.” She moves her hips and shit.
“Stop teasing me, Mag,” I moan.
“You said yes, let’s go to sleep.” Then she hugged me. “Hug me and touch me.” I hug her tight and smell her hair. Her fucking smell makes me alive.
“I am so madly, deeply in love with you, Mag.”
“And so do I, but this is not the right time for both of us. But who knows tomorrow will be better.”
“Then let’s sleep so tomorrow will come.”