Scream For me

DAPHNE

Very bad things…

The words permeate my thoughts for days. I find my gaze drifting when I do dishes when I’m on the train, and while I’m grocery shopping. It’s like my head is a balloon, floating above my body.

I haven’t felt a fire like that in my veins since… forever actually. Guilt creeps back in at the realization. The relationship I had with Carson grew from friendship and trust; it didn’t start with lust or desire. It transformed over time into love and passion, but it was vanilla and I was more than okay with that. What Carson offered me was different, it was what I needed. Love, loyalty, honesty, and security.

What Weston offers me-is lust, desire, the kind of sinfully good temptation that we both know we shouldn’t give in to. Then again, I don’t think he’s offering it. He made it clear that he wanted me but also said that’s why he couldn’t stay. Maybe this is just a game to him, his song and dance of seduction. To kiss me, make me feel what he could give me for a night? A long weekend on his yacht in the Bahamas? Until he’s bored with me and on to the next?

I’ve never even entertained the idea of a fling. Xana tried to encourage me a few times over the last year to try it out. To just have fun and let loose but that’s never been my style. I crave connection; I long for intimacy rather than just sex. That’s why it never bothered me that my sex life with Carson wasn’t fireworks and exciting new positions. It was reliable and fairly consistent, and while I didn’t get off very often, he made me feel so loved. He would make sure that even if I couldn’t finish with sex, I got there some other way.

Thoughts of taking Mr. Vaughn up on the offer to accompany his family on their long weekend on his yacht continuously plague me. “It’s a dumb idea,” I say to myself over and over but I’m not sure I’m convincing myself. The reality is I want to go; I want to know what very bad things he wants to do to me, and I want to experience them.

I drill my fingers on my desk as my students gather their things and prepare to leave for the weekend.

“Hello, Mrs. Vaughn.” I smile and wave as she approaches my desk.

“Regina dear, call me Regina. My son tells me you’re going to be joining us on his yacht next weekend.”

“Oh.” I stare at her for a second. “Um, well, I didn’t realize it was decided yet but yes, he did extend an offer.”

She smiles, looking back at Daisy who is talking animatedly to one of her friends. “I can’t tell you how excited Daisy will be when she finds out. She talks about you nonstop, you know?”

“That’s very sweet of her. She is a wonderful little girl and an absolute pleasure to teach.” I’m worried that I’m now obligated to go on this trip… not that I would be upset. “Did you or Mr. Vaughn tell Daisy yet?”

“Oh no, dear, I think that he wants it to be a surprise for her. He gave me strict instructions not to tell her yet. I think it will be wonderful for her to have a young woman who is engaging with her. I know her recent nanny did a fine job, but she just didn’t connect with her the way you do.” I look over at Daisy, my heart melting a little. Something about that little girl tugs at me. “Plus, I think it would do my son some good to see Daisy fully enjoying herself. Ever since his wife passed, he’s become much more reclusive, consumed by work. I think it bothers him that Daisy doesn’t have any siblings to play with on these family trips, not even a mother to engage with. No pressure though, darling. I look forward to seeing you.”

My chest feels tight, stressed making it hard to swallow for a second. That’s a lot of pressure to live up to. “Uh, Regina?” She turns back around. “I don’t want to confuse Daisy about who I am in her life.”

She gives me an understanding look. “I know, dear, and Weston doesn’t want that either. But having a figure like you in her life, even if it’s only for this school year will do more for her than you realize. Do you have a favorite teacher who impacted your life? Once you look back on fondly?”

“I do actually. Mrs. Knight. She was my fourth-grade teacher. I even went to her funeral when she passed a few years ago and kept in contact with her children.” She gives me a reassuring smile and I realize that she’s right. This doesn’t have to be anything more than it is, a chance to give a little girl some happiness and make a positive impact on her life.

“WHAT IS WITH YOU LATELY?”

“Hmm?” I turn to Xana as I run my fingers over the silky belt of a bathrobe.

“Seriously, girl, what has gotten into you? If I didn’t know better, I’d say you were in love,” she jokes and I can’t help but laugh, my cheeks growing warm.

“Not in love. No, I think I’m just really happy with life right now. The work is great. The weather has been fantastic.” I pick up the robe and check the price tag before putting it back. “This store is outrageous.”

“I know. It’s fun to look through.”

We walk through the outdoor mall, mostly window-shopping, but I’m also on a secret mission to find a bathing suit and some updated vacation wear… if I can find it this late in the summer.

“What do you think of this?” I hold up a white linen dress. The capped sleeves are small ruffles and pearl buttons adorn the front down to just above the knee where it parts into a slit.

“Super cute. Might be a little cold going into fall.”This text is property of Nô/velD/rama.Org.

“What about for vacation though?”

“Yeah, for sure. You could even wear it as a cover-up if you go someplace warm.”

“That’s what I was thinking. Now I just need to find a swimsuit,” I mutter half under my breath as I glance around the store for the end-of-season clearance section.

“Swimsuit? Where are you jetting off-wait, oh my God, are you going?”

“Going where?” I play dumb, running my hand over the small selection of remaining swimsuits.

“Daphne Jane Flowers.”

“Don’t full-name me,” I tease as I pull a white swimsuit from the rack and hold it up against myself.

“Look at me.” I glance up at her. “Are you going to the Bahamas?”

“Yes, maybe, I don’t know.” I shake my head, putting the swimsuit back. “Ugh, I don’t know what to do.”

“What do you mean? I thought you had made up your mind you weren’t going?”