Holding on to you

Chapter 23: Dance of defiance



The guys who were holding her fell away from her as Killian moved to her. He glared at them before taking her in his arms. There were a few confused looks because no one knew that she was his sister.

He was so gentle with her, I’ve never seen him gentle before. He hugged her tight and she buried her face in his shirt. Very slowly he ran his fingers through her hair, soothing her cries. It was so fascinating to watch that even those who should be running was taking the scene in. He pulled back so that he could look at her, using his thumb he wiped the tears away from her face.

“You’re ok, I’ve got you, no one is going to hurt… he’s never going to hurt you again.”

She nodded her head, she started to sober up and I saw that she didn’t look as weak as she did before. Killian noticed this too because his voice got deadly when he asked her who made her cry.

“Now, tell me who was the f**ker that made you cry so that I can rip his throat out?”

That was everyone’s queue to start escaping. Becky let go of me and started moving away as quickly and as quietly as possible because she realised that Killian hadn’t seen me as yet.

“They touched, Lilly.”

That was all she had to say before I saw him go stiff, his entire body radiated danger. Very slowly he turned, his eyes taking in everyone one, it was like he was registering them to his memory to use at a later date.

When his eyes landed on me and he took in my condition he growled. With his eyes on me, I started shivering, remembering that I was exposed, I quickly pulled my shirt together to try and cover myself as best as I could.

Without missing a beat, he pulled his shirt over his head and put it on me. When I was covered he didn’t step back like I thought he would, instead, he pulled me closer and hugged me tighter.

“I never wanna see you cry for anyone else, your tears are only for me,” he whispered, “I’m gonna kill them.”

It happened so fast, he let me go and grabbed Leo who was trying to make his escape. Bring him close to his face he spat out,

“You touch what is mine!”

He said nothing more as he bashed Leo’s head into the wall. Leo never even had a chance to defended himself because Killian started punching him in his face over and over again. The anger and the force behind every punch made me cringe, but I didn’t feel sorry for him.

Leo when limp in Killian’s hands but he kept on beating him, his teeth were bare and his lips were curled back into a sneer. His entire body shook as he threw punch after punch. Leo’s face looked bloody, swollen and broken.

Killian let him fall to the ground before he whipped around searching for the other, but all of them had managed to slip away.

“Hit me harder, Red, if you wanna knock your opponent out you’re gonna have to put some strength into your punches.”

Oh, I so wanted to power-punch his hot ass for the six hours of training that he had me doing. After that incident at the school, he cancelled his trip and took me to the gym. At first, I thought it would be a repeat of the first time, but he picked up a small bag and dropped it at my feet with just two words, ‘get change’ then he walked off. When I opened it I saw a pink, black and purple sports bra and shorts with pink trainers.

So instead of having two blessed weeks of fun and getting drunk, I spent two weeks in the gym with Killian, learning how to defend myself. But if getting my ass handed to me is a new form of self-defence then I’d say I was a pro at it.

“I’m tired, my arms feel like they are about to fall off.”

I knew I was whining but I didn’t care, the amount of sweat that was collecting on my skin could fill a freaking swimming pool!

“Red, I want you to be able to defend yourself if you ever find yourself in a situation like the one you were in.”

I shudder just thinking about Leo’s hands on my body. You’d think that I would feel the same way about Killian, but weirdly enough I didn’t, even though my relationship with him started more or less the same way.Text property © Nôvel(D)ra/ma.Org.

After Killian dragged me and Kinsley out of school that day, I spent most of my time wondering why I never reacted that way when Killian first touched me. I never put up a fight when he brought me back to his house, and I sure as hell didn’t fight it when he took my virginity.

Why was he different? Why when it comes to him I give in so easily? I played around with the idea that I might have always had some kind of feelings for him, but I squashed it like a bug. There was just no way that that was possible, I knew he existed but I wasn’t one of those girls who knew his every move and all the details of his life.

All I knew of him before I made the deal was that he was dangerous and that everyone was afraid of him. I’ve never crossed path with him before that, although he said that we have.

He claimed to be my first kiss, but I didn’t remember it. I had blurred visions of that night on my fifteenth birthday, but none of them included him. I’ve tried to ask him on multiple occasions, but my nerves always got the better of me and I chickened out.

“Red!”

I jumped, giving him an apologetic smile, but he just folded his arms in annoyance.

“Sorry, I spaced for a bit. What were you saying?”

He rolled his eyes at me, and I must say, it was the cutest thing I ever saw. Dropping his hands to his side, he stepped closer to me.

“Unless you want me to kill everyone who sets a frown on that beautiful face of yours, you will learn to defend yourself, ok?”

I swallowed the lump in my throat and nodded my head. I knew he meant every word, there were times I’d catch him looking at the faint bruise on my cheek like he wanted to bury the person who did it. He’d asked me multiple time who did it, but for whatever reason, I never gave up Becky. As for the pictures that were plastered all over the school, well let’s just say that the person who was stupid enough to do it had better leave the country for their own safety. Killian didn’t take too kindly to “his woman’s body” being shown to the entire school.

“Why do you care so much?”

I don’t know where the question came from, but I didn’t regret asking it because I genuinely wanted to know.

I could tell that I caught him off guard by the uncertainty swimming around in his eyes. He looked like he was struggling to find the right answer to my question, but just as the emotion came it went. He put that blank mask that he wore so well back in place.

“Don’t for a minute romanticise any of my action toward you, Red.”

He took a step toward me, making me feel inferior but I refused to let it show on my face. The one thing my encounter with Leo thought me was that I could damn well fight back!

“Don’t confuse what I feel for you as love because I’d have to crush any dreams you have of me ever doing the right thing and letting you go, or becoming some you can love like Jason. I’m poison, Red, and the longer you are around me you’re bound to get infected.”

I almost laughed, he thought that I was wasting my time dreaming of a future with him. HA! If he only knew that I was planning my escape from him, and when I did run he’d never be able to find me.

My eyes became stormy as I too step closer to him, I was done being his victim, it was time for the sheep to become the lion.

“Trust me, Killian, my dream has nothing to do with you, and I’d never wish you to be anything than what you are because that would mean I care.”

I gave a little laugh as I continued,

“And believe me, when I saw that I don’t. My body might be yours, but my heart has long been taken.”

His nostril flared and his eyes narrowed. I saw the muscle at his temple twitched and I knew he was trying his best to get his anger under control. We stared at each other for a while, neither of us willing to back down. However, in one swift movement, he had me pinned to his chest. I tried to shove him away but he was just too strong for me.

“Don’t worry, Red, it was never your heart that I was after, you can give that to whoever the f**k you want, but try that with your body and I will slit the f**ker’s throat right in front of you!”

I never got a chance to reply because the next thing I knew; his mouth was claiming mine in the most brutal kiss I’d ever experienced. When he finally came up for air I felt a stinging on my lips and tasted the metallic taste of my blood.

“We’ve done enough training for the day, I need a shower.”

He grabbed my hand and started pulling me toward the door, but I wasn’t having any of it, not after I just found my new defiance power. I pulled my hand out of his grip and stood my ground, I wasn’t about to give back control to him.

“I don’t care what need, and it doesn’t mean that I have to go with you.”

I folded my hand in front of me so that he’d be unable to grab them again. Tilting my head up I let my defiance show. He closed his eyes for a few seconds and took a few calming breaths, but when he opened them back up he was anything but. I almost lost all of my bravados when he set his cold pale green on me, the look in his eyes was telling me not to cross him, but I’d already gone too far to back down now.

“Don’t f**king push me, Red!”

I was on a runaway train and it didn’t look like it would be stopping anytime soon. I don’t know what got into me to make me do what I did, but it felt like I was floating above myself just watching the entire scene unfold, and as I stepped forward and raised my hand to slap him, I thought, what the hell am I doing?! However, the moment my hand connected to his face and I heard the echoing sound of the slap and felt the sting on my fingers, I started screaming to myself to RUN! And that’s exactly what I did.

The shock looked on his face made it possible for me to escape to the door without being caught, but when I heard the thunder of his voice calling my name for the first time I almost stumbled.

“LILLY MAE BLACK!!”

Oh shit! That definitely can’t be good!

I increase my speed and run right out of the house but not before grabbing his car keys.


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